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September 4, 2019

The other day I took the twins to an appointment. The tech helping us asked them all sorts of normal questions including, "Do you have any other brothers or sisters?" 
I always pause here to let them answer as they wish. They were both quiet a moment until one piped up...

September 4, 2019

I'm usually thinking about one of three things at any given time.

1) the days immediately surrounding Beau's death 
2) what life would look like today if he were here and what he would be like/act like/love to do/be learning, etc, etc, etc.

3) the present and everythin...

January 24, 2018

Another year started, another year without our son, another year as a grieving mom walking around with an ever-present-yet-carefully-concealed broken heart. I started thinking about giving up on writing about grief. It's certainly not the most fun topic to write about...

November 6, 2017

We sadly said goodbye to our sweet Cayma Girl last night. She died very peacefully at home, surrounded by her loving family telling her, "Good Girl" and "Goodbye Caymie, I love you", on her favorite cozy blanket in front of the fireplace. I'm forever grateful for my fr...

July 27, 2017

I think what every grieving parent wants is for their child to be remembered and for their child’s life to make an impact or create something good in the world. For some small amount of goodness to counteract their grief. As we approach our third year without Beau (die...

June 28, 2017

I'm home from Italy and processing one of the best weeks of my life. There was beauty everywhere I looked and in every person I met. There was laughter, delicious food, wine, and abundant sunshine lighting up my face. I danced at 7:00 in the morning, saw a firefly for...

May 13, 2017

Mother’s Day. A day that was created to celebrate mothers and all they do. A seemingly joyful day for all. But I know now that for many, it’s a day that is extremely complex, and above all, emotional. Happiness, sorrow, peace, fear, anger, love, appreciation, frustrati...

April 21, 2017

Remember that time I was basking in my trip to Europe and really pulling myself out of my storm season by instead focusing completely on Italy (+ one day in Paris) and what I was going to pack and what all I need to do to prepare? Oh yes, just last week? Yes, yes, I wa...

April 12, 2017

You know those moments when it feels like something (or someone) is invisibly nudging you in a certain direction? Those moments when you know something life-changing is about to happen, even though you aren’t completely sure how? Or those moments when you look back and...

March 22, 2017

Lately I’ve had a new image pop into my mind when I picture my grief. Most of the time, it’s like I’m on a pontoon boat in a calm bay. There are other people with me on the pontoon and we are happy. The sun is shining, we are laughing, eating, drinking, looking ahead o...

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September 4, 2019

September 4, 2019

November 6, 2017